


Lavandula

by TWICEisDAEBAK



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 20:36:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14197242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWICEisDAEBAK/pseuds/TWICEisDAEBAK
Summary: Park Jihyo is a talented but yet troubled student. She is mentally ill and it drives her to the point of suicide. Will the girl she meet be able to save her if she can't save herself?





	Lavandula

Everything that was once beautiful, now appear discolored and ugly.

 

The skyline looks beautiful from up top, even if it’s just the top of the school building. The quietness is mixed with distant chattering of students and cars passing by. From afar, the clouds appear dark and angry as if a storm is coming. It’s evident its raining there, and soon it’ll be raining where she’s standing.

 

 

Her plaid skirt and tie sway side to side. Her bangs part her face like a curtain, and her forehead appears.

 

The air blows on her round cheeks and she closes her light brown round eyes to enjoy the breeze. It’s comforting in a sense.

 

This specific spot is Park Jihyo’s favorite, where no one can find her. Where she can isolate herself from the world. Sometimes she asks the teacher to use the bathroom, just to catch a breath from the rooftops.

 

Park Jihyo enjoys the silence.

So much that it may even terrify her.

 

“What are the chances she could be struck by lightning? Or blown away by a sudden tornado…Wouldn’t that just solve everything??”

 

“Why don’t you just jump? It’ll make everything easier…”

 

When she draws the courage to do so, the slightest of sound or a honk summons her back to reality.

 

And she evaluates her decision, even questioning herself, because obviously ending herself would be easier than what she’s currently feeling.

 

There’s a million ways to die, but there’s also a million reasons to live.

 

As much as she wants to scream from the top of her lungs, she can’t.

Jihyo slowly inhales and exhales. Humming to herself, she begins to sing quietly. Her unique voice is beautiful. More beautiful than the voice that speaks within, the voice that arises from her subconscious, the one that taunts, and brings her troubles.

 

Jihyo’s voice is unique, even if she doesn’t believe it, or if she constantly denies it when someone compliments her. It always has been.

 

Jihyo continues to sing as tears stream down her cheeks.

Why does it hurt even though they’re just words? I shouldn’t even care about hurtful comments or what others think..

 

Feeling unconfident in everything she does, being criticized, and stressed, Jihyo always feels she isn’t good enough, especially when it comes to singing.

 

Standing behind the ledge, grabbing onto the rail, Jihyo looks down.

“I’m not good enough,” she whispers.

She closes her eyes, imagining what it’s like to fly.

Leaning forward she jolts back automatically and quickly wipes the tears from her face.

 

She exits the small door and runs for the stairs, and speed walks down the steps.

The bell rings and she walks faster down the steps.

 

If she misses a step and suddenly rolls down the stairs, then that could be the death of her too...

 

“That would be quick and easy too,” her inner-voice says, totally agreeing.

 

Or she could sprain her ankle, that’s a possibility too..And she could be seriously injured and no one would know she’s there and die that way too..

Or hit her head and have a brain bleed and die…

 

She dismisses the suicidal thoughts and sniffles. She gently rubs her eyelids to rid the remaining tears.

 

Unfocused and with eyes staring down she shakes her head to fix her bangs.

 

 

Jihyo turns the corner and clashes with a student holding a stack of textbooks. Landing on her forearm and knees, the quick sudden pain stings. Rubbing her forearm, she quickly gets to her feet. Looking down to examine her injured knees, a patch of blood stains her skin, and she endures the pain.

 

The stack of textbooks scatter to the floor, and Jihyo immediately apologizes, barely looking at the girl, she bows her head multiple times before rushing to class.

 

“Wait!” the tall girl says aloud, realizing Jihyo’s forearm’s are scraped and knees are bleeding.

 “Your knee! It’s bleeding…are you okay??” her voice trails off as Jihyo rushes forth, ignoring the girl.

 

Looking at the scattered books on the floor, and back up, she loses sight of Jihyo amongst the other walking students.

 

Chou Tzuyu checks herself to see if she has been injured too. Then, continues to pick up the pile of books on the floor. She double checks her books to ensure they’re okay too.

 

“What the hell happened to you?” Chaeyoung asks while helping Tzuyu pick up her books.

“Someone ran into me, well we both fell, then yeah…my textbooks,” she says calmly.

 

 

“Are you hurt?” Chaeyoung caringly asks.

Tzuyu shakes her head, “I’m okay.”

 

 

Feeling drained and tired, it must’ve been the fall from earlier.

 

The bell rings and Jihyo is late.

Jihyo carries her backpack on her shoulder, slightly limping to her next class.

Thinking if she should go to the nurse’s office, to receive a note to excuse her tardiness.

 

Her knee is hurting and walking to the nurse’s office is too far. Instead, Jihyo walks to class, accepting her tardiness.

 

She limps to class and her classmates stare at her.

 

“LATE! Park Jihyo, detention,” Mrs. Kim calls.

 

Unable to do or say anything, Jihyo quietly takes her seat in the back near the window.

 

The teacher continues where she left off, “there’s going to be a musical for the department, it’s to fundraise for our department, the assignment you are given is a list of selected songs we will be performing, so please practice, review, and sing your soul out! I will also be assigning parts next week.”

 

The teacher hands a stack of music sheets with lyrics to the students in the front to pass back.

 

Jihyo licks her finger to rub away the dried blood. She presses the blotch of blood on her knee to feel the pain. And it stings once more.

 

Yoo Jeongyeon’s arm swings mid-air to pass the sheets of paper, but Jihyo is too distracted by her injured knees.

 

She swings her hand side to side, waiting for the papers to be fetched.

 

Nayeon smacks her lips and taps Jihyo’s shoulder as she too waits for the musical assignment, and Jihyo is startled. Sorry, Jihyo says, and quickly takes the stapled music sheet, then passes it to Nayeon.

 

She stares at the music sheet, flipping through the pages to examine the assignment.

 

No matter how much she practices or tries, what’s the point?

And they say practice makes perfect…pft.

If it’s not her nerves that get the best of her, then it’s her lack of confidence…

Though Jihyo’s voice is unique she’s entered a lot of singing competitions and auditions, her self-esteem is so low.

 

Mrs. Park is overly supportive, sometimes pushing Jihyo to the point of no return. If her mom had enrolled her in a normal school then she wouldn’t be competing with all these other performing arts students. She wouldn’t even be there amongst other students who are way more talented than her.

 

But she can’t blame her mom, she just wants the best for her daughter and Jihyo understands that.  She used to love singing so much.

 

 

But the pressure to fit in society, and her mom pushing her to sing, and the stress just adds on.

This singing angel isn’t perfect.

Park Jihyo would never think that of herself as perfect anyways. Far from it, as she constantly reminds herself, there’s room for improvement, always.

 

Through past experiences and criticism, it’s been engraved in her mind, its exhausting.

 

Jihyo loudly sighs, “why do I even bother??” and taps the desk repeatedly.

 

Some of her classmates turn to look at her and continue their work.

Jihyo slumps in her seat and stares outside. Unable to see anything but the windows from the other building, little droplets of rain stain the windowpane, and she sings in her head.

 

Thunder roars from above and the droplets of rain becomes heavier and the sky turns darker than ash.

 

Her ridiculous thoughts emerge again.

What are the odds she could be struck by lightning? Or a huge gust of wind blowing her out the window suddenly.

 

The sound of hard rain breaks Jihyo’s concentration and she looks over the assignment once again. Contemplating if she should try her best or not.

 

“Park Jihyo!,” the teacher calls aloud, randomly calling the girl.

“Yes?,” she nods.

“Can you please sing us a sample of verse 3 line 2, on page 1,” the teacher cold calls.

Several students look at her and make eye contact.

 

Jihyo immediately sits upright as a sudden wave of heat surges through her body and her face turns red. Feeling nervous, she clears her throat and begins to sing the line but her voice shakes, and pauses before continuing.

 

“Okay,” the teacher hand gestures indicating her to stop.

Jihyo looks down, feeling embarrassed at her performance. This isn’t the first time a student has suddenly been called to sing a verse or line. This is the teacher’s way of getting students to feel ‘comfortable’ around each other. But it only makes Jihyo feel awkward. More awkward than before, since the teacher has called on her several times already. The teacher critiques Jihyo in front of the class, calling out her mistakes. Not even any feedback or constructive criticism on how she can improve…

This is why Jihyo feels the way she does, she doesn’t need a repeat of her mistakes. The talented girl has heard it many times, thus she always thinks she is not good enough.

 

Maybe her teacher hates her that’s why she keeps calling on the poor girl..

 

Park Jihyo deeply exhales whilst sinking into her seat, it just kills her, and she feels emotionally hurt.

 

The bell rings, and as if today can’t be any worse, she has to attend detention.

She grabs her backpack and crumbles the assignment, shoving it into her bag.

 

 

Jihyo walks across the quad limping, still feeling the burn on her knees. Her hands and forearm ache from the fall.

 

She finally makes her way to the nurse’s office.

“Hi, I need a bandaid…,” she politely asks.

The nurse hands her several band-aids and she takes a seat to bandage herself.

The pain is there but it’s not as bad as it was when she first fell.

She quietly chuckles to herself.

The pain hurts the most when words leave scars.

Jihyo leaves the nurse’s office, walking across quad in a different direction to another building for detention. Still limping, she reaches for her tardy slip in her pocket. And she’s late, but she doesn’t care.

 

She hands the tardy slip to the teacher’s assistant. 

 

Son Chaeyoung takes the paper and puts it along the stack of other tardy slips.

 

Current time: 3:03 P.M. – Detention starts at 3:00 P.M. & ends at 3:30 P.M.

 

“You’re late,” Chaeyoung whispers.

Jihyo stares at the girl’s face despondently.

“Sorry,” she whispers back, giving the girl a slight smile because she finds her dimple adorable.

“Take a seat student,” Chaeyoung says nicely eyeing the desks.

And Jihyo continues limping to the seat in the farthest corner of the room.

Chaeyoung notices the scrapes on the gloomy girl’s arms and her bandaged knees.

And she suddenly recalls her memory from earlier linking Tzuyu’s fall with this girl’s. 

Jihyo stares at her desk, sitting there dumbfounded. She leans her forehead on the cold desk, closing her eyes. She’s tired, emotionally, physically, and mentally.

 

A tall girl walks in almost tripping to collect her slip, which had somehow made its way on the floor. She embarrassingly smiles and hands the slip to Chaeyoung. And instantly Chaeyoung laughs, because Tzuyu has just handed her a fake tardy slip.

 

Chaeyoung doesn’t mention Jihyo or the fall, instead she stays quiet.

 

Chaeyoung slyly smiles at her best friend, Chou Tzuyu. She finds it cute that she would find time out of her day to hang out with her.

 

Tzuyu has never been late to class, but to spend time with her best friend after school she makes fake tardy slips. That’s their secret, and she knows Chaeyoung wouldn’t tell the teacher.

 

She too takes a seat in the far corner and sits there staring at her fingernails and hands.

 

Unsure which slip is Jihyo’s since she’s collected other tardy students slips already, Son Chaeyoung takes the attendance, even when it’s not necessary. Gathering the stack of tardy slips, she begins to call names.

 

She reads each name on the slip, then peaks at the students who raise their hand as their names are called.  

 

“Park Ji-hyo,” she calls pursing her lips, and again her dimple appears.

No sound or movement, and Chaeyoung calls the girl’s name again, this time louder.

 

Jihyo raises her head and claims herself, “here.”

 

Resting on the desk, she suddenly feels utterly depressed. Overwhelmed by the mix of emotions, she just wants to sleep and cry.

 

How hard would she need to slam her head against the desk to injure herself?

“HARD AS FUCK DUH!,” the voice within answers.

 

And Jihyo gently motions her forehead on the desk, , Pt, Pt, Pt, Pt,…Pt, as if she is about to really slam her head hard.

 

“You’ll become dumb if you keep doing that,” the tall dark haired girl next to her says.

Jihyo tilts her head to see who is speaking.

Not knowing who this girl is at all or why she would even speak to her.

Nor having any recollection about the girl from the falling incident, Jihyo is practically oblivious.

“It wouldn’t matter anyways,” she replies.

“What’s your name?” the nice girl asks.

“….Jihyo,” she hesitates.

“Oh, I’m Tzuyu. Well Jihyo, I hope everything is okay, we all have bad days,” the kind girl reassures nodding her head, trying to send comfort.

“Thanks?,” Jihyo replies giving her a quizzical look.

 

Chou Tzuyu’s kind words don’t seem to work on Jihyo and she still feels like shit.

 

Jihyo checks the time, 3:06 P.M.

Why does time go so slow when I have been sitting here for so damn long??

 

Chaeyoung assigns duties for the tardy students, and she purposely groups Jihyo with Tzuyu.

 

 Jihyo and Tzuyu are stuck with desk cleaning.

 

Tzuyu oblivious too, kindly hands Jihyo a towel with a spray bottle and they both begin their consequential work.

 

Moving to the opposite corner, Jihyo sprays water onto the desk and starts scrubbing and wiping it with the towel. She rids the stains off the desk and continues to clean away. Several desks in, she reads the carvings made by some students. Some carvings and writings are meaningless and random, but some stop her in her tracks.

 

We made it! –HM & MM- 15’

 

Jihyo wipes down the permanent carving as if it’ll go away. Tzuyu glances at Jihyo and she gives the girl space, letting her be.

Tzuyu sprays the remaining desks and wipes them with the towel.

 

She folds the towel, hand bigger than the towel, and her pinky wipes along the wooden part of the desk and she shrieks, dropping the spray bottle and towel.

 

The spray bottle clunks to the ground and everyone stares at her even Jihyo.

 

Tzuyu applies pressure to her finger before letting go to realize there’s a splinter in her finger. The pretty girl sucks on her index as if her tongue could pluck the piece of wood out of her finger. 

 

There’s eagerness in Jihyo’s eyes and she wants to respond to Tzuyu. But her mind and actions don’t agree. She shouldn’t bother…

 

Park Jihyo checks the time, detention is almost over. There’s somewhere she needs to be and she can’t be late.

 

Jihyo wipes the last of the desks and folds her towel neatly. Approaching Tzuyu, she looks at the pretty girl, feeling a little envious of her beauty. Pretty and tall. And automatically, Jihyo thinks and assumes Tzuyu must be a model. She just stands so straight, seems like the girl is super confident, and that she must be from the fashion model department.   

 

Tzuyu observes her finger to see if the splinter is out. From the corner of her eyes she see’s Jihyo limp-walk towards her and the bandages on her knees.

 

Jihyo should ask the pretty girl about her finger, but instead hands the spray bottle and towel back. To show she’s been to detention, she signatures the blank paper on the clipboard with her name and student ID.

In a rush, she quickly grabs her backpack, and jolts for the door.

 

And like that Tzuyu recaps the fall and connects the girl she crashed into with Jihyo. She immediately tells Chaeyoung as if it’s a secret she can’t keep. And Chaeyoung just looks at her because she already knows.

 

 

Jihyo attends private vocal lessons everyday afterschool. Mrs. Park wants the best for her daughter even if these lessons are insanely expensive.

Therefore, she can be late to anything else but this.

Jihyo doesn’t see a point in these lessons anymore. But she still gives the slightest of effort. I mean that’s the least she could do right? For her mom that is…

 

She just goes to please her mom.

 

It seems as though she has already given up on music and possibly life.

 

The sky is still dark and the rain hasn’t stopped. Jihyo sighs, “what a sad…sad…sad….day.” Having forgotten her umbrella, everything seems wrong today.

Drenched from the rain, Jihyo’s clothes are wet and so is her hair. She’s sniffs her runny nose, and fixes her hair.

 

Jihyo politely greets Mr. Park, and respectfully bows.

She makes her way to the bathroom and cleans herself. Drying her hair with excessive paper towels and using the hand dryer to dry herself entirely. She joins Mr. Park who is patiently waiting for her.  She hands him the musical assignment and he briefly skims through the lyrics. He hands back the lyrics with a bunch of notes and comments.

 

Jihyo does the usual and practices her singing, warming up with simple lines first.

She looks over the comments and ignores it and sings the lyrics as if she’s reading them aloud.

 

Mr. Park gives her pointers and she practices again. This time actually putting in some effort. She thinks back to her past and the next thing she knows is she’s feeling emotional. This girl’s on an emotional roller coaster and she begins to sing from the heart.

 

Following the tips and instructions of Mr. Park, Jihyo takes his suggestions into consideration.

 

Again and again, Jihyo sings.

Mr. Park closes his eyes to hear the true voice of Jihyo. And he nods his head whilst smiling with his eyes closed.

 

Feeling the urge to want to cry, Jihyo’s voice cracks and she chokes and Mr. Park opens his eyes.

 

Jihyo clears her throat, not wanting to sing anymore. If giving the slightest of effort makes her sing in a certain way, then imagine what she would sound like if she gave her all, or tried her best.

 

“Good, good,” Mr. Park says smiling and giving her a thumbs up.

 

Mr. Park gives her extra music sheets with lyrics to practice and additional pointers on songs that are harder to sing.

 

Mrs. Park arrives at Studio JYPE to pick up Jihyo. As she patiently waits for her daughter’s session to be over, she chats with the receptionist.

 

“Jihyo, you have potential, you’re talented. So don’t limit yourself and your voice. Earlier I could feel you sing differently, and I know if you sang like that, or put your feelings into the song, then it could take you places. I know talent whether I hear it or see it.” Mr. Park gives Jihyo his two cents. Though Jihyo’s heard these words before, she just simply thanks Mr. Park. Jihyo doesn’t accept the truth that she’s talented or that her voice is great anymore. Having been rejected countless times, she’s lost confidence in herself.

 

Mr. Park walks her out of the room and she see’s her mom. Shocked to see her daughters bandaged knees, she has a moment with Mr. Park.

 

Mr. Park and Mrs. Park converse and Jihyo takes a seat to check the time and fiddle with her phone.

 

She see’s her mom nodding her head at whatever Mr. Park is saying but all Jihyo wants to do is go home and sleep. She’s had a long day, she’s exhausted; drained. Her body aches, it must be from the adrenaline after the fall.

 

“What happened to your knees???” Her mom eagerly asks whilst starting the car.

“Nothing,” she murmurs and puts her hands on her knees.

 

She sits in the car staring outside the window. Her eyes are fixated at the dark view. And whatever her mom is saying goes in one ear and out the other.

“Jihyo,” her mom calls loudly for her attention.

And she sneezes, snuffling her runny nose.

“Are you sick?,” her mom worriedly asks.

Jihyo shrugs, “maybe…”

 

 

She stares outside the car window again…Randomly thinking to herself.

Is it possible to die from a cold? 

 

Jihyo sighs and her mom helplessly looks at her.

 

“How was school today, dear?” Jihyo’s mom asks out of concern.

“…great,” Jihyo lies, giving her mom a one word reply.

 

 

They arrive home and Jihyo walks normal to her room, not wanting her mom to worry about her. 

She sits down, having a moment of silence. Staring at her messed up knees and forearm, she gets up to the get the first aid kit from the cabinet. Closing her door behind her, she swabs the sides clean before applying it in the center. The peroxide burns, but she continues to apply it to both of her knees, hard pressing the scraped area, so it doesn’t get infected. And her face scrunches from the burn. The peroxide drips down her legs and she cleans it, then applies antibiotic ointment to keep the wounds clean. She does the same with her forearm but it doesn’t burn as badly. She carefully bandages herself up. She recalls the fall and replays the accident. Realizing she didn’t even help the girl she bumped into with her books.

 

She should’ve showered instead, but she’s drained. She lays back down in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

 

Closing her eyes, Jihyo puts her earphones on, drowning herself from the world and her thoughts.

Humming to the song, she falls asleep.

 

 

Jihyo wakes shivering from the cold with sweat on her forehead. Her clothes are partially wet from the sweat and her mouth feels dry. She unfolds her blanket, covering her body.

 

Tossing and turning, hot one minute and cold the next, she feels dizzy. She weakly feels her head and she’s caught a fever.

 

It’s almost 4 A.M. and schools in 3 hours, she continues to sleep, ignoring her fever.

 

Her alarm beeps and she presses the snooze button.

 

Five minutes later, her alarm beeps again. And she hits the snooze button. Feeling extremely weak, Jihyo continues to sleep.

 

“JIHYO,” her mom calls but no response.

Jihyo hears her mom but doesn’t have the strength to yell or reply.

 

A knock at her door and her mom enters her room, “time for school.”

“Are you not feeling well?” Her mom asks.

 

“I’m sick,” Jihyo whispers whilst looking at her mom with sleepy eyes.

And her mom feels her forehead to see if anything is wrong with the sick girl. Her forehead still remains hot and her mom squeezes her daughter’s hand.

 

“Okay, don’t go to school today, rest up, let me get you some medicine though,” her mom says worriedly.

 

 

Her mom brings a glass of water and two pills for Jihyo to take. And she swallows the pills at once. Closing her eyes she goes back to sleep.

 

Jihyo’s mom knocks at her door once again, checking her daughter and she’s sound asleep. Jihyo’s mom sets the food on her desk and calls for Jihyo to wake.

 

The sick girl wakes feeling a little better and less dizzy. Her mom feels her forehead again to check the fever, and it has subsided.

 

“I made you pork bone soup, you need to eat to regain strength and recover from your sick,” her mom states while leaving and closing the door behind her.

 

Jihyo gradually gets out of bed, and sits at her desk staring at the meal her mom prepared for her.

 

Famished, she quickly eats but savors every bite as it hits her taste buds. The food is delicious and Jihyo feels cured from her cold already.

 

Jihyo rests and doesn’t attend school for a couple of days.

 

Even though Jihyo feels depressed everyday, she still has to go to class.

 

The bell rings and its lunch time.

Jihyo packs her books and binder into her backpack before leaving class to the cafeteria.

 

She lines up buying herself a beef bento. And walks past the table Jeongyeon and Nayeon are sitting at. The two girls gaze at Jihyo and she stares back expressionless, minding her own. And Jihyo walks alone out of the cafeteria.

 

“Don’t you think she’s a little weird?” Jeongyeon quietly questions to Nayeon.

Nayeon gives Jeongyeon a confused look because she doesn’t know how to answer.

Nayeon shrugs, “maybe, she’s sad or something…”

 

Chaeyoung enters the dance department building, walking to Tzuyu’s class. She radiantly carries her sack of lunch. She’s so cute her backpack is bigger than her, which makes her look so small. And walking next to Tzuyu just adds to her shortness.

 

She waves at Tzuyu who is at dance practice, collecting her best friend to have lunch.

 

Tzuyu grabs a towel to wipe the sweat from her face and wraps it around her neck. She throws her backpack on and the two walk out of class, out of the building.

 

Jihyo eats lunch at the same spot, the same favorite spot of hers.

She walks across the quad, before turning a corner.

 

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu walk down the hall before crossing the quad and Tzuyu see’s a familiar face. Chaeyoung is too busy, lost in talking about her new favorite music artist that she doesn’t notice or see Jihyo too.

 

Chou Tzuyu see’s the girl from detention couple of days ago…

Tzuyu quickly glances at her knees and they still have band-aids on them. Her arm seems fine though and she isn’t limping anymore. Her eyes fixate on Jihyo, following her until Jihyo turns a corner and disappears.

 

The tall girl thinks to herself, why would she turn there? There’s nothing there??

 

“What are you looking at?,” Chaeyoung suddenly asks, turning her head to look too.

“Oh, nothing..” Tzuyu adds.

 

They both cross the quad and enter the cafeteria. Tzuyu lines up to buy herself a beef bento, still wondering about Jihyo.

 

The two sit down across from Jeongyeon and Nayeon. It’s quite strange how they all know each other since Chaeyoung met Tzuyu through Jeon Somi, a mutual friend who majors in both practical dance and applied music. And Jeongyeon and Nayeon are both applied music majors as well.

 

Tzuyu eats her meal quietly sharing some beef with Chaeyoung.

 

She’s thinking…

She’s extremely curious, Tzuyu has turned that corner before and it’s the back of the dance department building, there’s nothing there but stairs.

 

 

Park Jihyo walks up the stairs and turns another corner with a small door. Jihyo is at her favorite place. Sitting at the curb she opens her bento, she’s starving from the cold medicine she took this morning.

 

She hears distant chattering of students laughing. She stares at the view from the top of the building and continues to eat.

 

The sky is clear, and the clouds are so white like cotton balls. It would be nice to grab one and touch it, it’d be like petting a rabbit. Jihyo laughs aloud because it’s not possible.

 

But maybe in the afterlife…Or in heaven..

 

It’s sunny, today seems like a good day, and Jihyo shouldn’t be moping. She can’t help it, she just feels dejected.

 

The bell rings and Jihyo takes a glance over the ledge to see students walking about. Their heads look like circular dots moving around. She steps back from the ledge and grabs her backpack.

 

Opening the door, she heads down, a bento in one hand taking it with her.

 

And every time she climbs down the flight of stairs she always thinks, if she misses a step what would happen…

 

 

Chaeyoung forks another piece of beef from Tzuyu’s bento before rushing to leave. Nayeon and Jeongyeon wait for her and Tzuyu waves them a goodbye as they head out of the cafeteria.

Tzuyu rushes her food even though she’s a slow eater.

 

She tosses her bento and rushes out the cafeteria too. She might be late to class, so she hurriedly walks, crossing the quad to the dance department building.

 

Jihyo fixes her bangs as she turns the corner around the dance department. And again Tzuyu see’s Jihyo, she radiantly smiles and waves at the sad girl.

 

But Jihyo isn’t aware until they cross closer paths. She gives the pretty girl a half smile before rushing off.  

 

Wanting to ask the girl about her knees, but Jihyo is too quick to leave. And Tzuyu runs to class turning a corner.

 

Remembering the model girl from detention, she suddenly turns around to see the tall girl again, but she’s disappeared.  

Jihyo tries hard to remember her name but diddly-squat comes to mind but the sound of Tz.

 

Tzuda? Tzuchu? Tziyi? Tz…something…

 

“Tzuyu can you get the dance banners from the 9th floor? Its in the storage room next to the small door,” the dance teacher asks, handing her a set of keys.

She nods her head and does as she’s asked.

 

 

Tzuyu walks down the hall and climbs up three flights of stairs and searches for the storage room.

 

She looks for the storage room on the right but no storage and walks to the other end of the hall and see’s a faded sign labeled ‘storage’ next to  a small door with a jammed and broken knob.

 

Curious as to where it leads, Tzuyu jiggles the knob, turning it, and the door lets free.

Air blows from within but Tzuyu isn’t afraid. She steps into the door, slightly closing it behind her and turns a short corner. Discovering it’s the rooftop of the dance department building, her curiosity ends.

 

She bravely walks to the ledge and stares down. Although its only nine floors, the way down is pretty high, and Tzuyu steps back to gaze at the beautiful view.

 

The rooftop would be a perfect place for Tzuyu to practice dance without being seen or distracted by anyone.

 

Tzuyu returns, closing the small door. Reaching for the key, she opens the storage room, grabbing the box labeled ‘dance banners’. She closes and locks the door and heads back down the stairs to class.

 

She’s never noticed the small door even though she practically spends so much time at the dance department building. But then again there are nine floors to the building and the majority of the doors are classrooms, dance practice rooms, bathrooms, or storages. All of which are equal sized doors but that one.

 

 

The teacher is assigning singing parts for the department musical and Jihyo feels careless.

 

She doubts she’ll get any part as a main singer due to her embarrassing cold call performances in class.

 

Jihyo draws lines on the lyrics as to highlight them, and twirls her pen.

 

“Nayeon, what part do you want?” Jeongyeon curiously whispers.

“I have to have a main part,” Nayeon demands.

 

Not to be an eavesdropper but Jihyo hears everything, she sits squeezed between the two.

 

“What part do you want?” Jihyo’s inner voice interrogates.

And Jihyo literally thinks about what part she wants, she’s unsure. A back up singer or nothing, would be great….but a main singer would be too much attention and Jihyo doesn’t have any confidence for that.

 

Jihyo blankly stares at her desk and wishes time would pass by faster, and that class would end so she can go to her favorite spot.

 

The teacher reveals who has what part and lastly, “…Yoo Jeongyeon, and Im Nayeon, you two will be lead and Park Jihyo you are main.”

 

“What???” Nayeon blurts, and Jeongyeon’s draw drops.

 

 

Jihyo is confused by the teachers pick and she suddenly feels sick by the pressure and the responsibility that has weighed upon her. Not too sure if she should be happy or mad either..

 

Why would the teacher pick her to be the main singer for the musical after her weak in-class performances? Plus she lacks the confidence in singing.

 

The bell rings and Nayeon sadly storms out the door with Jeongyeon behind her.

 

Jihyo stands next to the teacher waiting for all the students to leave before speaking.

 

The teacher begins to pack her belongings, “is there something wrong Jihyo?”

“I think you picked the wrong main singer for the musical,” Jihyo admits.

“No? I think not,” the teacher says furrowing her brow.

“Nayeon was hoping to be main, she deserves the part more than I do Mrs. Kim and there are far more talented singers in class for the part,” Jihyo states.

Mrs. Kim smiles and stops packing to look directly at Jihyo’s brown eyes.

“Do you know why I chose you?,” she asks.

Jihyo shakes her head no.

“I chose you because you have such a unique voice. You need to own your voice, not lose confidence when you sing, that’s why I always cold call you in class, not because I want to embarrass you. I want to test you and your vocal range. I want you to have fun and be confident when you sing. You are just as talented as the rest, I believe in you,” Mrs. Kim says showing her clenched fist to gesture ‘fighting’.

 

Jihyo blanks and is at a loss for words. She’s heard various criticisms before. She automatically bows her head, thanking the teacher and leaves feeling shocked. Nothing ever goes her way but hearing the truth from Mrs. Kim, Jihyo desperately tries to believe it, believe in herself.

 

 

“We’re done, good job everyone!” the dance teacher shouts and claps.

 

Tzuyu wipes the sweat from her forehead and fixes her hair, tying it up.

 

Grabbing her bag she walks out the class, down the stairs to see Chaeyoung.

 

Chou Tzuyu peeks her head in the window to see Chaeyoung sitting in the front of the class. She looks as though she is about to fall asleep slouched in that chair babysitting the tardy students. Tzuyu walks in as if she’s tardy too and hands Chaeyoung a random crummy paper.

 

She adds it to the stack of tardy slips and shoos the girl away. She scans the class for Jihyo, but she’s not there. Tzuyu sits down in the same exact seat, checking her phone to see if she’s received any messages and the time.

 

Current time: 3:25 P.M.

 

Tzuyu wide eyes and waves a 5 at Chaeyoung and she wide eyes her besty back, copying her.

 

The tardy students sign their names and write their student ID’s down before leaving.

 

No Jihyo today?

“Who?” Chaeyoung says squinting an eye.

“The girl I crashed into..ya-know?,” Tzuyu replies.

“Oh her, yeah no, I guess she was late just that one time,” Chaeyoung confirms.

 

Chou Tzuyu enters the dance department building looking for an unoccupied studio to practice. But all the rooms are full on the ground level. She checks for an empty room in the second and third floor and they all are taken.

 

Not until she makes her way to the 6th floor that she finds an empty dance studio.

 

She begins stretching. And whilst doing so, she abruptly remembers the rooftops, she grabs her bag and slowly makes her way to the small door.

“It would be fun to practice up there since it’s a sunny day today anyways,” Tzuyu says cheerfully.

 

She climbs these stairs almost everyday, 9 flights of stairs is nothing.

 

Jihyo gazes at the soft cloud. Park Jihyo spends so much time at the rooftops, she might as well live there. Set up a tent and bring an airbed and call it home.

 

Jihyo grabs her backpack to get the musical lyrics.

Thoroughly reading the lyrics and jotting down extra side notes in addition to Mr. Park’s tips, Jihyo clears her throat.

 

Exercising her mouth, she warms up.

 

Jihyo takes a breather. She reiterates Mrs. Kim’s words and it gives her an ounce of confidence. 

 

She begins to sing the first verse quietly to herself, then aloud once more. She digs deep to find the courage to sing the way she used to. Unable to concentrate and feeling annoyed of herself, all she can think about is suicide.

 

She steps near the ledge and looks down to see students walking.

She feels utterly miserable.

 

It’s not too late to jump…besides if she did Nayeon or Jeongyeon could have her part, she wouldn’t need to be the main vocal for the musical…

 

This time Jihyo stands on the ledge, and without staring down she closes her eyes, imagining her fall.

 

She sits on the ledge, back facing the open, if she jerked back this gives her an eighty percent chance that she could kill herself but still keep her pretty face. Jihyo crazy laughs at her ridiculous idea and gets off the ledge.

 

Instead she stands on the ledge, feeling a little frightened. Opening her eyes, she looks down once more. It’s different standing on the ledge and behind it. She grunts, shaking her head, and steps off the ledge back to safety.

 

She tries another scenario. She steps back, creating a distance and runs for the ledge, but her feet involuntarily become weak. Her mind tells her jump but her legs say no. Jihyo is unable to jump.

 

Tzuyu casually walks down the hall turning the left corner, and seeing if anyone is there, she’s safe.

 

Jihyo angrily screams out of frustration so loud her voice echoes.

 

Hearing the scream, Tzuyu quickly jingles the knob and the door frees. She peaks her head to see what’s going on, and she spots Jihyo, hands on her hips.

 

“This is ridiculous. I must be goddamn mental! There are a million ways to die but all I can think of is…is…jumping off a fucking building…” Jihyo says aggravatingly pacing back and forth.

 

She stops pacing and squats, breaking down in tears, hiding her face in her crossed arms…. I’m not good enough. She should be practicing the lyrics for the musical not crying her ass off. But she’s unfocused, the stress is getting to her and she feels sad. 

 

The hiding girl can’t help but look at her. If she appeared, it might scare the poor girl, if she doesn’t then she might do something she might regret. All Tzuyu wants to do is help, she has that kind of heart.

 

Jihyo stops talking to herself and walks towards the ledge again, standing on top of it this time.

 

And instinctually, Tzuyu thinks Jihyo is going to jump. Her heart decides for her and she steps out of the shadow in sight.

 

“ARE YOU STUPID???,” Tzuyu yells as she terrifies Jihyo, who is still standing on the ledge.

 

Jihyo turns around with her hand over her chest.

“ARE YOU?!” she yells back.

“You can’t just fucking appear and scare someone like that when they have their back’s turned standing this high…” she adds.

“Well I thought you were going to jump,” Tzuyu states.

“Get down from there, it’s dangerous,” Tzuyu demands.

“And if I don’t?” Jihyo says playing devil’s advocate.

“Why would you want to kill yourself? There are a million ways to live, you could die another way and plus today’s a good day,” Tzuyu says truthfully.

“Call me crazy, but I could stand up there with you, if that makes you step down,” she says bravely.

“Ha, you’re too pretty to die, don’t,” Jihyo advises.

“What good would that do if the school lost two talented students?” Tzuyu adds.

 

 

Jihyo laughs because its something her optimism tells her when she feels suicidal. And this girl too, must be out of her mind. And like that Jihyo steps down, away from the ledge. Relief draws upon Tzuyu’s face.

 

“You’re worth it,” Tzuyu honestly says.

“You don’t even know me,” Jihyo murmurs, walking towards the door.

“Everyone is worth something, even if they don’t feel that way,” Tzuyu adds.

“Whatever you’re feeling, I can relate,” Tzuyu says with her hand on her heart.

 

Jihyo is touched by this girl’s effort and immediately admires her, and decides to give her a chance.

She turns around laughing, her hand combing through her hair, she gives Tzuyu an embarrassing look, “I forgot your name,..”

 

“It’s Tzuyu, Chou Tzuyu,” she says.

“Are you okay?” Tzuyu adds.

“No, but I will be,” Jihyo truthfully states.

“I meant your knees,” Tzuyu corrects.

And Jihyo looks at her scabbed knees, and nods her head.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, since we crashed into each other that one time,” Tzuyu utters.

 

And Jihyo recalls the incident but can’t really put a face to the girl she crashed into. “I’m so sorry, are you okay??” Jihyo apologizes again and late checks to see if she’s alright.

 

And Tzuyu nods her head, “my books are okay too.” And they both laugh.

 

“So why are you up here...by yourself?,” Tzuyu curiously asks looking into her eyes for the truth.  
“I come here often,” she replies back.

And Tzuyu nods her head trying to understand Jihyo more.  But all she can look at is her pretty big brown eyes. And they’re beautiful.

 

Tzuyu checks her phone for the time, she has to leave for class.

“Let’s exchange numbers, that way if anything you can talk to me, I’m here for you,” she boldly says and Jihyo stares at her.

 

She reluctantly gives her number to Tzuyu, just because she doesn’t really text.

 

Jihyo’s made a friend, possibly someone who she can relate to and confide in…

 

Jihyo feels enlightened by her new friend. Her smile is pretty contagious and her dimple is adorable. Tzuyu sure is admirable. And Jihyo can’t help but show a delicate smile when she thinks of her. Tzuyu sends comforting signals to Jihyo and she likes it.

 

She thinks about Tzuyu’s kind words and feels moved.

 

How can a girl like her say such kind words to someone she barely even knows?

She sure is something else..she sure is caring.

 

Jihyo reaches into her backpack to grab the musical lyrics. She should practice, she needs it, if she is going to perform well.

 

She exhaustingly lays in bed, always feeling drained.

Ignoring the hurtful comments she’s received, and calming herself. She thinks of all the good criticism and helpful tips people have given her.

She tries not to be depressed for once.

And rereads the lyrics to herself and starts to sing.

 

Halfway into the song, she feels overwhelmed by the emotions, and stops.

She creeps down the stairs and sneakily breaks into her dad’s alcohol stash. Opening the bottle of whisky, she takes a big gulp. The alcohol hits her and she closes her eyes. And within minutes she feels calm, somewhat hot, and a little dizzy.

 

Jihyo crawls up the stairs happily one second and another teary eyed.

 

Finally reaching her room, she closes the door, locking it also. She throws herself onto her bed and reaches for the lyrics. She procrastinates a little. The words are blurry, and she tries to sing aloud.

 

Park Jihyo is a mess. And her suicidal thoughts are taunting her.

 

Grabbing her phone, she motions her thumb up and down, wanting to call Tzuyu and not.

 

Should she message the girl or call?

 

And on accident, Jihyo thumb presses Tzuyu, calling her. She answers hoarsely, “hello..?”

Jihyo knows she’s woken the sleeping girl, probably bothering her too. She just wants to hear Tzuyu’s voice.

 

All Tzuyu can hear is breathing sounds, so she double checks her phone to see who it is.

She immediately sits upright, “Jihyo, are you okay?”

 

Jihyo doesn’t reply, is hesitant, and as much as she wants to cry, she whispers sorry. Feeling like a complete burden, she hangs up. 

 

She devastatingly cries, because that’s what she feels like doing at the moment. Her phone buzzes and it’s Tzuyu. She clicks her phone sending the call to voicemail, and Tzuyu calls again.

 

Jihyo tosses her phone and it tumbles off her bed, onto the ground.

Tzuyu feels worried, she keeps calling and lastly, she leaves Jihyo a message.

Jihyo’s phone beeps and she doesn’t even bother checking, closing her eyes, she falls fast asleep.

 

Jihyo sits in class bored out of her damn mind and unfocused on what Mrs. Kim is teaching. The troubled girl shakes her leg to pass time. She feels extremely awkward now that the teacher has given her the main vocal part. And even more awkward overhearing Nayeon wanting the part, and sitting in front of her…

 

Jihyo hasn’t really practiced much either. Still confused at why Mrs. Kim even gave her the part. She keeps convincing herself she’s unfit for the part, and that she’s not good enough.

 

Feeling stressed, Jihyo wants to run away.

 

The bell rings and Jihyo collects her materials, shoving them into her bag. She pace-walks to her favorite spot, crossing the quad and turning the corner. She gradually climbs the stairs and makes her way to the rooftops.

 

She sits there quietly staring at the view. It’s pretty. She says that all the time weather rain or shine, but it’s not true. Everything she see’s is grey.

 

Silence used to be beautiful but now its ugly. Her hands comb through her hair, she is bothered by the musical still. The stress has caused her to lose her appetite.

 

She checks her phone and re-reads Tzuyu’s message. She doesn’t know what to say but to secretly smile.

 

Walking to the ledge, she holds onto the bar. The breeze blows onto her face as her brown hair beautifully blows back and her bangs part showing her smooth face. She replays the scene over in her head. Park Jihyo has never met anyone so caring besides her mom. And when she thinks of Chou Tzuyu she feels different, it’s unexplainable.

 

Thing don’t seem as dark as they should be…

 

 

Chou Tzuyu checks her phone whilst waiting in line for her regular beef bento.

No message or calls. She worries for Jihyo.

She spots Chaeyoung sitting at the table chatting with Jeongyeon.

 

“1 beef bento, please,” she politely says.

“Sorry we only have pork today,” the cafeteria lady informs.

“Oh, okay I’ll have a pork bento then, please,” she orders.

 

Walking towards the table Chaeyoung is sitting at, Tzuyu waves at them.

“Where ya going?” Chaeyoung asks as the rest of the gang look at her.

“Back to the dance department, see you later,” she says smiling.

 

Knowing that Jihyo must be at the rooftops, Tzuyu rushes to the dance building. Running up the 9 flight of stairs, with her bento in one hand, she turns the corner to the small door. Short of breath, Tzuyu bends over panting with her bento still safe in her hand. 

 

Jihyo turns around to see the wheezing girl and turns back around.

 

“I..knew…you were up…here,” she says gasping for air.

“I’m always up here, she mumbles.

Tzuyu sits next to her, setting her bag down.

 

Instead of asking again if she’s okay, Tzuyu offers some of her lunch to Jihyo as she see’s the girl without food.

 

“I usually get the beef bento, but they sold out today, so pork it is,” Tzuyu informs.

 

Slowly comprehending Tzuyu’s words, Jihyo tries to focus on the girl and not just stare off due to boredom.

This girl gets the beef bento too??

 

“Aren’t you hungry? You have to eat something, food makes people happy,” she kindly says.

And Jihyo shakes her head and stares off into the blue sky.

Tzuyu picks up a piece of pork with her chopstick and places it in front of Jihyo’s face and brings it to hers. Jihyo follows like a lost puppy, “AHHHHH,” she says with widened eyes and mouth as she treats Jihyo like one.

 

The beef bento is better but the pork bento smells just as good, and Jihyo’s tummy growls.

 

The depressed girl just looks at Tzuyu, shaking her head in disbelief and opens her mouth because in fact she is hungry.

Tzuyu carefully pushes the meat into the girl’s mouth, watching her eat.

Jihyo chews the meat and Tzuyu pets her head.

 

Tzuyu doesn’t really know much about Jihyo, but she is curious.

She speaks with her mouth full, “what’s your major?”

 

Jihyo keeps her answer short, “applied music.”

“My best friend is an applied music major too! Sing something,” Tzuyu asks excitedly, putting Jihyo on the spot.

 

Jihyo gives Tzuyu a ‘are you serious’ look and her eyes glitter in excitement waiting for the girl to sing something.

 

But, Park Jihyo rejects Tzuyu’s request, and questions her back, asking the same.

“I’m a practical dance major,” and Tzuyu willingly gets up to bust a move.

Tzuyu makes Jihyo smile and laugh and she covers her face.

“You seem so confident in everything you do, even the way you stand and sit, its so straight,” Jihyo confesses.

The tall girl tilts her head, “that’s the trick, if you stand straight people assume and think you are confident,” she whispers.

“Don’t tell anyone my secret, okay?,” she jokingly laughs whilst gripping onto Jihyo’s hand.

 

The grip sends a surge of heat to Jihyo’s body and she feels different again.

 

Jihyo is enjoying Tzuyu’s company. The time spent with her on the rooftops seem long and she hasn’t had a suicidal thought or felt the tendency to jump off the ledge.

 

The bell rings and Jihyo wishes their time could be longer.

 

Park Jihyo has been attending all the private vocal lessons consecutively.

She needs a break.

 

She’s been trying really hard. From Mr. Park’s tips and pointers, to Mrs. Kim’s words of encouragement, and Tzuyu’s kind words, Jihyo is desperately trying.

 

The stress could draw her to a dark place and Jihyo doesn’t want to go there today.

 

Jihyo stares outside the window, she begins to count the windowpanes on the other side of the building.

The bell rings and she loses track of her count. Mrs. Kim notices she’s the last student to leave and has a word with her.

 

“How’s your practice of the musical lyrics going?,” Mrs. Kim eagerly asks.

“It’s going,” Jihyo replies to not worry the teacher.

 

Mrs. Kim see’s the confidence in Jihyo’s voice and attitude as she replies and from the way she’s standing.

“You’ll do great, I’m here if anything,” the teacher says reassuringly.

 

And Jihyo respectfully bows, dismissing herself. Checking her phone for the time, Tzuyu’s message stops Jihyo in her tracks.

 

She can be late, but she cannot miss a vocal lesson, it would probably upset her mom.

 

Chou Tzuyu (3:48:01 P.M.): I am at practice right now, but do you want to do something later?

 

She always does what her supporting mom asks, and for once Jihyo decides to ditch vocal lessons.

 

Jihyo messages Tzuyu telling her she’ll wait at the quad for her.

 

Five minutes pass and no sign of Tzuyu, Jihyo sits on the bench a little longer, waiting, and also a little bored. She stares at her hands, looking at her fingerprints.

 

Tzuyu pokes the girl’s shoulder and she turns around. The tall girl gives her a pretty smile and Jihyo looks at her dimple, cute.

 

“Lets go do something fun,” Tzuyu suggests.

And Jihyo follows the tall girl as she leads.

Tzuyu ends up taking Jihyo to an ice skating rink.

 

The employee hands them both a pair of roller blades.

“I can’t skate,” Jihyo says bluntly.

“I’ll teach you,” Tzuyu grins.

“Eh, I rather not…” Jihyo contemplates.

 She hesitates before putting on her skates. And Tzuyu waits for her.

The tall girl never really liked summer.

 

Tzuyu easily swerves around the rink testing her skates before coming back to collect Jihyo.

 

Her legs feel wobbly and Jihyo is embarrassed. She struggles to balance and she clings on the rail for dear life. Tzuyu laughs and helps the frightened girl.

 

“You’re fine, I’m here, I got you,” Tzuyu laughs.

She automatically grabs Jihyo’s hands and without a doubt she feels warm and safe.

 

“Don’t let go of me,” Jihyo screeches!

The cold air hits her face and she exhales.

Tzuyu pulls her arms back, pulling Jihyo’s hands so she can increase momentum.

 

Tzuyu keeps doing the same movement and she wants to let go.

Jihyo grips her hands harder than the rail on the rooftop.

“Let go,” Tzuyu suggests, and Jihyo shakes her head, she doesn’t want to fall.

 

“If you fall, I’ll catch you,” she earnestly says.

And the girl lets go.

 

Jihyo maintains the same posture and is skating on her own. Surprised at herself and how well she’s doing, Jihyo feels happy. Happy with Tzuyu.

 

 

Tzuyu skates by and circles her, ensuring Jihyo doesn’t fall.

 

“Fun right? It feel’s like flying,” Tzuyu says.

 

The cold breeze hits Jihyo’s face and she likes it.

Jihyo’s skates are slippery and she starts swaying, losing her balance, she jolts forth. The tall girl is quick to react and grabs for Jihyo, but Jihyo’s strength pushes her back.

 

Chou Tzuyu loses balance and they both fall down.

 

Tzuyu laughs and gets back up, she gives Jihyo her hand, helping the fallen girl too.

 

“There’s a million reasons to live. You’re worth it,” Tzuyu radiantly says whilst looking into the sad girl’s beautiful brown eyes.

 

Jihyo feels different when she’s with Tzuyu, in a good way. She likes it so much, she never wants or wishes it to end.

 

She smiles, entering her home.

“Where have you been?” her mom worriedly questions with the kitchen towel in hand.

“Vocal lessons?” Jihyo murmurs.

“DON’T LIE TO ME, MR. PARK’S RECEPTIONIST CALLED AND SAID YOU MISSED A LESSON,” Mrs. Park furiously says.

“Ditching lessons is one thing but lying to me is another, I was worried sick! Something could’ve happened to you, like get kidnapped,” she adds.

Feeling annoyed at her mom’s lecture, Jihyo’s mood changes.

“Or I could’ve died….” Jihyo states as she feels her depression kick in and the suicidal thoughts surface.

Mrs. Park is infuriated by her daughter’s remark.

 

Quick to act, she slaps Jihyo across the face, “WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

And Jihyo bursts into tears, holding her cheek. She runs up the stairs, slamming her door.

 

Jumping on her bed, she continues to cry.

 

She was having such a good day today too..

 

Now, Jihyo doesn’t even want to be home. She reaches for her phone and immediately texts Tzuyu.

 

Park Jihyo (7:00:45): Do you want to do something right now?

 

Tzuyu’s phone buzzes as she’s having dinner.

Chou Tzuyu (7:02:01): I can’t go out anymore, but you can come to my house if you’d like?

Without hesitation, Tzuyu gives Jihyo her address.

 

She sneaks out her room, locking it from the inside. She hears her mom cooking in the kitchen.

Jihyo tiptoes down the hall, and quietly opens the garage door. She borrows her sister’s bike and opens the other garage door and bikes down the street to Tzuyu’s house.  

 

Mrs. Park knocks on her daughter’s door.

“Sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to get upset and slap you,” she sincerely says.

Mrs. Park jiggles the door but it doesn’t budge.

Assuming Jihyo is still upset and doesn’t want to come out for dinner, she leaves a tray of food by her door.

 

Jihyo bikes in the night, following the dimly lit streetlights as guidance.

 

Five minutes later she arrives at Tzuyu’s house. Tzuyu’s house is located on the opposite end of her house in a different neighborhood. She abandons the bike behind the bush.

 

Deciding if she should throw rocks or ring the door bell, Jihyo text’s Tzuyu she’s outside. And she opens the door, welcoming Jihyo into her house.

 

“Mom, my friend is here,” Tzuyu yells as her parents ask who is at the door from the living room. 

 

Tzuyu walks up the stairs to her room, and Jihyo follows. She closes the door behind Jihyo. Tzuyu slumps onto her bed, exhausted from dance practice and school, she checks her phone, messaging Chaeyoung back.

 

“Make yourself comfy,” she implies.

And Jihyo awkwardly stands there looking around, inspecting Tzuyu’s room.

 

She looks at Tzuyu’s baby and childhood pictures and she’s so cute.

 

Tzuyu sets her phone down, she looks at Jihyo, studying her. And she knows something’s wrong.

 

“Come here,” she pats the spot next to her bed, motioning Jihyo to lay with her.

 

Jihyo could use some comfort given what just happened with her mom.

And like a puppy she crawls into Tzuyu’s bed, laying next to her.

 

“Whats wrong?” Tzuyu questions looking directly at Jihyo.

It doesn’t seem like Jihyo wants to answer and Tzuyu squeezes the girl’s hand.

 

“It’s okay,” Tzuyu answers.

Jihyo feels the surge again, and she turns her head, peering directly into Tzuyu’s innocent eyes. 

 

Not wanting to answer and without thinking, Jihyo sneaks a kiss. Her lips press hard onto Tzuyu’s but remain soft after. The kiss is warm like the way Tzuyu makes Jihyo feel.

 

Realizing what she’s done, Jihyo instantly apologizes and gets out of Tzuyu’s bed.

Tzuyu seems so calm and relaxed, she’s laying in her bed comfortably.

 

“Don’t be sorry, kisses can’t be taken back,” Tzuyu mutters.

Feeling shameful, Jihyo still apologizes, “I should go.”

 

And as she turns to walk away, Tzuyu jerks herself up from her bed. She quickly grabs Jihyo’s hand, gripping it tight.

 

“Don’t go, stay,” she kindly orders.

“I feel like a burden,” Jihyo says with her back turned forthrightly.

“You’re not, don’t say that,” and Tzuyu tugs at Jihyo’s hand again harder this time.

 

Jihyo lays back down next to Tzuyu and they stare at each other. Jihyo touches Tzuyu’s face and admires her features. Silence can terrify Jihyo, but the silence with Tzuyu doesn’t, and she can only think of a million more reasons to live.  

 

How can someone be so kind-hearted, caring, and beautiful inside and out, all at once?

 

She holds onto Tzuyu’s hand again, it’s soft and warm, like her.

Tzuyu purses her lips and Jihyo knows what’s coming. She closes her eyes right away and Tzuyu lays the softest and most tender kiss on her lips. And again, once more on her forehead, and Tzuyu smiles happily.

 

Jihyo opens her eyes and Tzuyu’s smile fades as she sleeps.

 

Tzuyu’s eyes slowly close and Jihyo finds the confidence to sing the girl a heart-felt song.


End file.
